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Тема: Wife 1.0

  1. #1
    Модератор Аватар для Mikhail Portnov
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    24.01.2006
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    Mountain View - Silicon Valley, CA
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    Wife 1.0

    WIFE 1.0

    Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 14.1 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

    No mention of this particular
    phenomena included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

    Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is ALWAYS launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

    At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

    Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0 :
    ---- A "Don't remind me again" button
    ---- Minimize button
    ---- Hibernation button
    ---- Laptop model
    ---- Separate on/off switch for speakers
    ---- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of other system resources.
    ---- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature.

    I decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
    Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend
    1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of.

    Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
    To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
    Another thing that sucks all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0 or 2.0

    BUG WARNING

    Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

    BUG WORK-AROUNDS

    To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.
    Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
    Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.





    =====================================
    HUSBAND 1.0


    Dear Tech support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
    noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly
    in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
    Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
    programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then
    installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs
    4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
    crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
    problems, but to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed, Desperate



    DEAR DESPERATE,

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
    while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

    Please enter comman d: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to
    download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If
    that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
    automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

    But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
    1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please
    note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring
    Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a
    virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your
    system resources.)

    Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These
    are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
    limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
    consider buying additional software to improve memory and perfor mance.
    We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck,
    Tech Support

  2. Эти пользователи сказали Спасибо Mikhail Portnov за этот пост:

    edik84 (22.05.2008)

  3. Бронирование Отелей в США
    Circuit advertisement
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  4. #2
    Гражданин Аватар для edik84
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    Сказали 4,910 раз в 1,820 постах

    Ответ: Wife 1.0

    Супер!

    Оч жизненно в терминах айтишников.

    Спасибо!

  5. #3
    Гражданин Аватар для 6blBAJlblY
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    26.01.2006
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    Uz
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    Сказали 226 раз в 135 постах

    Ответ: Wife 1.0

    У меня пока wife 0.1 beta
    The road to success is always under construction

  6. #4
    Гражданин Аватар для dimas
    Регистрация
    25.01.2006
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    Naperville
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    Сказали 272 раз в 159 постах

    Ответ: Wife 1.0

    Booking.com
    Цитата Сообщение от 6blBAJlblY Посмотреть сообщение
    У меня пока wife 0.1 beta
    Так в программу встроен autoupdate. Сама находит сервер, доступ в интернет. Услуги по оплате автоматических обновлений автоматически оплачиваются одной из ваших кредиток выбранных с помощью псевдослучайного алгоритма.
    Оглянутся не успеете как ваша 0.1бета станет 1.21RC2

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