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Тема: Five Minute Management Course

  1. #1
    Администратор Аватар для Ильич
    "Говорим про нас"
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    Five Minute Management Course

    Subject: Five Minute Management Course

    Lesson 1:

    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
    shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
    towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
    the next-door neighbor.

    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
    towel. "

    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
    naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and

    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
    gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

    "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

    "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes

    Moral of the story :

    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
    shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable

    Lesson 2:

    A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
    her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
    controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun
    said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

    But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
    once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

    The priest apologized "Sorry Sister, but the flesh is weak."

    Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
    It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
    Moral of the story:

    If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great

    Lesson 3:

    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
    lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes

    The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish!"

    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
    Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

    Pouff! She's gone.

    "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
    relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
    Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

    Pouff! He's gone.

    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

    The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

    Moral of the story:

    Always let your boss have the first say.

    Lesson 4:

    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
    saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

    The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
    sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story:

    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high

    Lesson 5:

    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
    the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the

    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
    bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
    enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
    after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally
    after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
    tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

    Moral of the story:

    Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

    Lesson 6:

    A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird
    froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
    there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

    As the frozen bird lay! there i n the pile of cow dung, he began to
    realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
    there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
    the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
    promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Morals of the story:

    (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
    (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


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    Троллей, как и тараканов, до конца извести нельзя. Избавься от одного, на его место всегда придёт новый; идиотов и социопатов очень много. Поэтому единственное верное средство от тролля - не вступая в перепалку "забанить".

  2. Эти 5 пользователи сказали Спасибо Ильич за это сообщение::

    Synergizer (31.10.2007), uienifer (01.11.2007), Ula (31.10.2007), vladimir555 (31.10.2007), Мартовская (31.10.2007)

  3. #2
    Ula вне форума
    Гражданин Аватар для Ula
    Сказали 639 раз в 341 постах

    Re: Five Minute Management Course

    Очень интересно, поучительно, а главное с наглядными примерами. А еще что-нидь подобное есть?

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