Master of Science - Business Analytics | McCombs School of Business
Такую связь я попыталась провести в эссе.
Master of Science - Business Analytics | McCombs School of Business
Такую связь я попыталась провести в эссе.
Вот вы пишите про бизнес анализ, оптимизацию бизнес процессов в своем эссе. А например, программа Master of Science in Business Analytics, на которую вы ссылались, готовит по сути то, что щас называют, data scientists - этакие компьютерные nerds (ака ботаны, задроты ), ковыряющиеся в больших объемах данных с помощью какого-нибудь R языка программирования - "The program ... combines classroom experiences in statistics, data mining, and programming." Короче ботаны-программисты, такие даже на великах обычно не умеют.
Это точно, то что вы хотите? По вашему эссе я понял, что вы хотите быть business analyst в классическом понимании этого слова.
1. The program is called Fulbright.
2. Your essay looks more like a biography. That's the most common mistake of the new applicants. No one in USA is interested in your 3rd world life struggles. Tell them something positive, interesting, and unique, that shows a potential leadership in your character. Maybe an example of how you helped solve some problem, overcame a challenge, why you are better than your peers. If you insist on tying this essay to your biography, make it a story of chasing the bigger goal, like something bothered you since your childhood and Fulbright is your ultimate chance to achieve it. Don't try to be modest, or the Americans will think you are hiding something.
3. Your grammar is poor, and style is kind of hard to catch. For example, "the highest rate of productivity and the fastest speed of transaction processing" is too long, like you are trying to fill it up with words, rather than context. The same sentence could be rephrased as follows: "the highest productivity and fastest transactions".
4. When I was working on my essay for a school, I wrote a long story, several pages of everything I wanted to tell the world how cool and awesome I was compared to my peers. Then I cherry picked the most important context for 2 pagea, polished grammar and style. Your grammar is better than mine was back then. This essay is a good starting point.
На данный момент я только начала поиск университетов, которые можно указать в качестве желаемого места распределения.
Здесь, например, также есть привязка Information Science (data science) в описании Business analytics program: Program Structure | Carlson School of Management
Хотела бы уточнить у вас: вы не увидели связи в эссе между Business analytics и Information Science?
Мне важно понять, какие акценты добавить.
Вы в будущем хотите
- работать, по сути, программистом и погрязнуть в языках программирования и структурах данных; анализировать данные; и оптимизировать запросы и алгоритмы?
- анализировать бизнес и бизнес процессы, оптимизировать бизнес процессы, оптимизировать производство, и повышать прибыли и прочие KPIs?
Если второе, то программы, на которые вы приводите сслыки - не про это
Последний раз редактировалось Daria Kurdik; 28.02.2015 в 13:38.
Попробовала искать по запросу Business/enterprise architecture - удалось найти уже что-то более похожее на бизнес-моделирование:
Widener University | Master in Business Process Innovation
Penn State Online | Master of Professional Studies in Enterprise Architecture
Graduate School USA - Enterprise Architecture
Только возникают сомнения: эти программы уже ближе к "Economics" или "Information science". Возможно стоит поменять дисциплину, как Вы считаете?
Возможно я ошибся, но мне показалось, что Information science - это не то, что вы акцентировали в эссе, и возможно не то, чем вы хотите потом заниматься.
Просто на заметку: Analytics, Big Data, Data Mining, Data Analysis, Data Analitics, Data Warehousing, Business Intelegence, Information Management, Data Management, Information Architecture, Information science... - если упор в описание программ делается на подобные buzzwords (хорошо бы было еще на часы по дисциплинам посмотреть), то 98% , что обучать будут больше технологиям и программированию, по сути, чем бизнесу.
P.S. Если цель всей затеи уехать и попытаться остаться, тогда просто смотрите куда легче попасть.
Благодарю вас за комментарии к первой версии эссе. Все комментарии были очень полезными для меня и я постаралась их учесть в работе над 2-й версией.
Буду вам очень признательна за ваше внимание и комментарии.
“Think globally, act locally” (Patrick Geddes)
My name is Daria Kurdik. I would like to pursue a Master's Degree degree in the field of Information Sciences in the USA. The concentration within the field is Enterprise Architecture and Information Systems.
I was born and grew up in a city of Krasnodar, which is a capital of a region in the south of Russia. I was interested in learning from my early school years. I worked hard to get good grades in high school. Besides the classes, I actively took part in competitions and conferences at school, city, and regional level. Spirit of competition incited me to do my best when I passed graduate exams and entered a university.
The questions of effectiveness often stirred my mind. What can make one company more competitive than other? How can it use advantages to fit a market situation the best possible way? Passion for finding the answers helped me to choose Marketing as a field of my professional development. I graduated from Krasnodar State University of Culture and Arts in 2009 with a degree of Specialist in markets. Desire to get top grades motivated me to work hard It resulted in the high GPA and Diploma with honors.
Natural curiosity incited me to review many foreign sources related to marketing. Marketing management became a subject of my special interest. I discovered marketing leverage, which make a customer aware of a product. But what can help a business to respond customer's needs faster with fewer costs? Back then, I was impressed how well-tuned business processes can affect an effectiveness of an enterprise.
I did my practical work as a third-year student in a local consulting agency. There I was engaged in analysis of a competitive environment of consulting services market in Krasnodar. I've got very interested and kept on researching in this field when writing graduate thesis. Results of my work became a base of development strategy for the agency.
My activities both social and academic helped me to build relationships with many people. I was a participant in university conference “Student research – potential of Russian science development”. There I successfully presented results of research on a topic "Influence of corporate ethic standards on working relations". I was granted an opportunity to publish them in the university annual edition “Alma Mater”.
It was a special experience for me to participate in the inter-university United Nations models in Krasnodar and Saint Petersburg. All the meetings were held in English language, where students could practice business communication and teamwork skills.
My passion for English language always motivated me to communicate with people from different cultures. I helped to organize movie-nights for students with native English speakers. There we could watch movies and discuss them. In terms of academics, I successfully completed a certificate program on English Language Theory and Practice.
It is my pleasure to be helpful and volunteer for different social groups. Thus, I was a counselor of a group of teenagers in winter English camp. I helped them to build relationships and practise English language with native speakers. The most inspirational volunteering experience of mine was with a handicapped person. During five days, I was a personal helper 24 hours in a day. This kind of experience taught me to keep on dreaming and pursuing my goals, in spite of hindrances on my way.
My career started when I entered doors of Economic Development Agency. As a member of a marketing department, I assisted in writing marketing part of business plans. Main task of the agency was drawing investors' attention to vacant regional areas. Local affiliates of international companies kindly organized walking tours for us. The most impressing tour I took inside the walls of International Tobacco Company "Philip Morris". Cooperation between departments and quality management was accomplished by state-of-art information systems. There I could see clear organisational structure and optimized business processes as a cornerstone of high productivity. And one more puzzle set fire to my mind: this is the field I must direct my steps to.
My further working experience in the Internet agency was connected with business processes optimization. As a part of a project team, I was involved in an analysis of organisational structure and workflow and its’ further enhancement. Newly documented procedures helped the agency to speed up and increase the revenue considerably.
Now I can see how all the puzzles make up a picture. My first subtle ideas and assumptions of what can improve effectiveness, turned into a vision and basic skills I must develop considerably. This need motivates me to pursue Master’s degree in the USA in as a participant of Fulbright program. Winning Fulbright grant would be more than just an honour for me. It is an ultimate chance to fulfill my dream. I would like to learn how an enterprise can benefit from effective application of information systems. Studying in the USA where a productivity is highest and transactions are fastest, will help me to gain solid theoretical base and practical skills of the subjects. In my turn, I'll try my best to implement all the knowledge and experience to contribute to the growth of Russian economy.
My name is Daria Kurdik. I am 26 years old. I would like to pursue a Master's Degree degree in the field of Information Sciences in the USA. The concentration within the field is Enterprise Architecture and Information Systems.
During the Master's degree program, I will primarily focus on understanding structure of organisations, information systems and how technology can be used to assist business. Concentration on Enterprise Architecture and Information Systems will help me to gain conceptual knowledge and practical skills of:
- Development and maintenance of cost-effective architecture for an organization, in concordance with its strategic plan, currently applied IT-systems and latest trends in an industry;
- Development of management standards for organisational architecture;
- Analysis, modelling and redesign of business processes between units of an enterprise;
- Ability to present an enterprise architecture to business and IT-audiences of organisation;
- Finding the ways in which IT-solutions can enhance competitiveness and effectiveness of a business;
- Application of relevant hardware and software to produce informed business solutions;
- Understanding of tools and techniques of system project management.
These skills are a must-have for an enterprise analyst and consultant ready to offer effective solutions.
Nowadays many Russian enterprises need professional assistance to optimize business processes, organisation structure and enhance productivity. It motivates me to pursue a Master's degree with a concentration in Enterprise Architecture and Information Systems in the USA. Participation in Fulbright program is my chance to learn how effectively develop and utilize systems and technology to enhance competitiveness of an enterprise. American enterprises are well known for their top effectivity and cutting-edge information technologies. High-quality American education focuses both on theoretical and practical aspects of a learning process. Thus, studying in the USA I will get a solid knowledge base of subjects and sufficient practical skills.
Moreover, as Fulbright student I will be able to attend conferences and meetings, dedicated to the subjects of my concentration. These opportunities will help me to build a network of professional contacts, which in turn, will contribute to successful completion of a Master's Degree and further professional development.
When back to Russia, I plan to seek employment as a business analyst in banking structure with concentration in banking applications and Customer Relationship Management systems (CRM). This experience and Master's degree knowledge will open me a way to business consulting field. Ability and desire to share knowledge in open and confident manner will help me to share the best professional experience with my clients and students. Afterwards, I would like to pursue a Ph.D. in the field of Information Sciences.
I truly hope that qualitative consulting aid will cause a positive impact on labor productivity in Russia. State institutions are one more category that needs optimization of business processes and integration of CRM-systems. With this vision, I would like to contribute to further economic development of Russia.
Эту тему просматривают: 1 (пользователей: 0 , гостей: 1)